2011

Everywhere I turn I see people saying how awful 2011 was. I have to admit that it wasn't that for me at all. It was actually a pretty good year. I guess it's true how the old saying goes 'It's always about perspective'. I'm actually expecting 2012 to be better than this one was. Well, at least for me. I cannot stress enough the importance of thinking positively. I mean, I know I'm a freak and all, but, I try and not let petty subject matter bother me. I try and remain focused on what I want regardless if I get it or not. In that sense, if you never quit believing in yourself and where you want your life to be, even if it never happens, and you would be surprised at how many people never actually get where they want to be in life, you still have the honor of winning a moral victory. Hopefully, that's worth at least something.

Next step?

In the last few years I have come a long way in regards to my writing. I have had three books published, a book trailer made courtesy of Bookcandy studios, several favorable reviews, an account on Amazon.com, 12 articles on Suite.101.com, and many other wonderful experiences. Now, as with then, I am looking to fully maximize my potential. But, I am actually unsure of which next step I am to take. Hopefully, it will present itself in the near future. Anyone who has ever achieved anything knows that the best never rest and time waits for no one!

Love dilemma

Love. It's a delicate subject. For a freak, it's usually just a source of one thing. Pain. The truth is there is one inevitable fact of this life, that no matter how successful one becomes or what one accomplishes all are going to be alone someday. So when we as humans open ourselves up and share our genuine(if you have any)feelings with others, in truth all you are really doing is making yourself extremely vulnerable. I know many have their reasons for doing so, but the outcome is usually the same. Disappointment or despair. Imagine the feeling of meeting an actual soul mate(extremely rare in my opinion)and spending a lifetime of joy with them only to have them die miserably. Or, being with someone you think loves you only to find out when it's too late that nothing could be further from the truth. The feeling of loss that could come from any similar situation has driven many to madness, or worse, death. When I was younger I use to wonder how some people could be so cold in the ways of love. Now, I know only too well!

12th Article Finished

I just finished my twelfth article for suite101.com I'm actually pleased with the whole process of it. It's not so much the financial gain from it, because there really isn't any. It's the fact that I can promote all sorts of subject matter that I find rather interesting. Obscure as it might be, it's my way of promoting the profound. Already I have done articles on the haunted history of Edinburgh, Scotland, The Haunted where-a-bouts of San Diego, An interview with a black metal band, An interview with a Embalmer, a zombie event in Seattle, and a few others. This latest article was on Voodoo, the obscure religious practice that is prevalent in Haiti, New Orleans, Jamaica, and the Caribbean. I don't really know what the rest of my articles will be on, but I'm sure there will be plenty of them!

On to the 28th!

It must have been last month when I finished my 27th short story 'Confessions of Depravity'. The story is about a predator of women who lives a facade as a common citizen and productive member of society. Of course, the story, like many others, is based on actual events. Now that this story is completed, I must yet again search the depths of my imagination for new material.
Usually this poses a challenge because of the very high standard I set for all of my works. Lately I have been studying up on the subjects of Voodoo and Palo Mayombe, an African pagan religion. I have also been researching the practices of Brujeria, Mexican Witchcraft. I do enjoy the extreme nature all of these subjects bring to the table. I respect all magical practices, no matter how primitive they may seem. Once I have completed my 28th short story I will have enough material to publish two more books. I can hardly wait!

Awesome Interview. Awesome Article

I finally had the pleasure of completing an article that I had planned for months. The title of the article was 'Living with Death: The inside view of the career experiences of a former Embalmer'. I don't know how many times I tried to get an interview with a mortician or someone of similar profession to no avail. I was about to give up on the idea entirely when I met Thom Carnell, A 'Fangoria' writer and former embalmer. Thom gave me the best interview a person could hope for and completely restored my faith in humanity(well, almost). To see the full interview(which is a four part series because of length issues) visit suite101.com

Never standing still

Well, I can honestly say that the last month certainly has been interesting. I found out that I didn't win the horror contest that I entered months ago. Sad as that was, I still went to Seattle, to the ZomBcon event there and promoted my book to a variety of people. The reception that I had there was amazing. Halloween was equally good here in San Diego, I went to a Goth party and promoted my book there too. Before I did each, an old spiritualist read tarot to me with some promising news. I love such occult themed activities. By keeping myself exceptionally busy, I've noticed that I have, in fact, come very close to fulfilling my goals but, I am not even close to being where I want to be. And I wonder if I ever will.

Excerpts from 'Behold the Darkness'6. 'The Lady of the Fog'

This next excerpt is from the last story from my book 'Behold the Darkness'. It is also the last in the series of excerpts from my books that I have shared until I publish my next book, which should be done sometime next year. This excerpt is promptly titled 'The Lady of the Fog'.

'...The light of the moon would allow me to catch a very limited glimpse of my surroundings. Although the fog could literally be cut with a knife, I was able to see what looked like a woman. The beats of my heart were uncontrollable, for even from a distance you could see she was well endowed. As I approached, her beauty revealed it's true magnificence. Through the fog, it was of beauty that was of unequaled grace. Seeing so feminine a creature, it was of my sworn duty to offer her assistance. I slowed my horse to a halt. "My lady, these woods can be treacherous at night. Please allow my escort." The woman said nothing. I, for a moment, was silent as well. Her beauty was captivating. Stealing the very breath from my chest. The pause between us drifted me away from my senses. I found myself ignoring the dangers of the forest and getting off my steed. I caressed her and tried to touch my lips to hers only to have her look away and gently turn from me. Slowly she walked away from me, but before she was swallowed by the fog she gave me one last look. A look that haunted me the rest of my days....'

Excerpts from 'Behold the Darkness'5. 'Hell is for Heroes'

The next excerpt from my book 'Behold the Darkness' is from the fifth story, 'Hell is for Heroes'.
It was the first story I wrote about the Demon E'ferries. I have written several since. Essentially, the story consists of the demon boasting of all of his Hellish exploits....enjoy!

'It is my passion to reveal to the Almighty that mankind is nothing more than a sniveling dog. It is for this that I was banished from my celestial origins. Banished I may be, but I am not helpless. For many a war have I started, and I have claimed many a soul. So many in fact, that one day Heaven may be empty. Several celebrations have I had in indulgence to this fact, and I shall have several more...'

Excerpts from 'Behold the Darkness'4. 'Necromancer'

This next excerpt is from the fourth story of my book 'Behold the Darkness'. It is appropriately titled 'Necromancer'.

'Bound and gagged, the initiate waited. Trapped helplessly in a cellar, it had been hours since he was placed there by his superiors and each passing second was an eternity. And though cold, dark, and not at all comfortable the initiate waited patiently for if he was anything-he was willing. Willing to endure pain, humiliation, even death. The chance of attaining membership into the most prestigious of all secretive societies was well worth it's weight in suffering. Very few people even knew such a group existed much less had the opportunity to gain membership. Only those who were deemed worthy enough were given the slightest chance of entry. Doctors, lawyers, politicians, architects, scientists, and men of extreme wealth and influence composed the group. People of ordinary standing were never given a second thought. Incredibly, this fool considered himself lucky and would have considered himself so even if his suffering was a hundred times worse. Such was the allure of the Order of the Dragon....'

Excerpts from 'Behold the Darkness'3. 'Evil Unveiled'

This next excerpt is from the third story in my book 'Behold the Darkness'. It is titled 'Evil Unveiled'.

'....As the train pulled in to the countryside station, the trains loud whistle woke Annae from her daydreams. Exiting the train, she stopped to obverse her surroundings. Forests, mountains, and a few homes that barely resembled a village. The village looked deserted. Not a soul was present. And as Annae looked a little closer, she could see that on one of the village homes there were symbols painted on it. Annae moved towards the painted symbols to get a closer look. What she found confused her. She did not understand. Three crosses were next to each other. One large and two small. Annae had been to church several times and had indeed seen crosses before, but these crosses were turned upside down. As Annae stared at the symbols and tried to make sense of them, her thoughts were interrupted. "You must be Annae." Annae turned around to see a beautiful, middle aged woman dressed elegantly in black. "I am Matilda. Your Aunt. Come now shall we."....'

Excerpts from 'Behold the Darkness'2. 'Lord Immortal'

This next excerpt is from the second story from my book 'Behold the Darkness'. It it titled 'Lord Immortal'.

'The routine was ordinary. And it had been that way for years. Morning-breakfast and medications. Afternoon-lunch and more medications. Evening-dinner and final medications. Afterwards came sleep. No patients were allowed to leave their padded cells or to have contact with others. No visitors were allowed. Showers were scheduled to the minute once a day. No exceptions.
One could argue that the measures taken were quite tyrannical, but to the Fenton state asylum for the criminally insane, such measures were considered a necessary evil. Through it's sullen halls and padded cells were kept some of the most vicious and animalistic perpetrators. Every crime conceivable were they capable, and convicted of. And because of this, not a one of them would be regarded lightly. Especially inmate #E7-116.
On the outside he was known by the few who knew him as Milner. According to those few, he lived in quite the normal fashion. There were no indications that he had the ability to commit the heinous acts bestowed upon him. They had actually stated that, although withdrawn and isolative, he was nothing less than decent. The acts committed by him would tell you something different....'

Excerpts from 'Behold the Darkness'1. 'The Darkness awaiting'

This month, just as the previous two months, I shall share with you excerpts from one of my books. These next excerpts, which I shall share throughout the month, are from my third book 'Behold the Darkness'.
The first excerpt from that book is from the first story titled 'The Darkness Awaiting'.

'He could see nothing. In the barren wasteland of which he now found himself, all light had been eclipsed by darkness. Panic-stricken he dared not move, for he could hear them. Their twisted jeers and laughter of cruelty. The same ones from the beings that had brought him to this place. This spiritual prison. Dreading their return to him, his breathing was heavy. Experience had already shown to him the brutality they were capable of. Although it was beyond painful he had no choice but to accept that this, this land of desolation and putrescence, was his final and unredeemable destination. His earthly life had expired and there are no coincidences in the afterlife, something he had found out in the most brutal fashion. There was no peace in the darkness. Fear plagued his entire being. The fear to speak. The fear to move. The fear to even think. In the darkness, one's whole being was punished simply for existing....'

Excerpts from 'Blessings of Death' 6. 'Of Death and Plagues'

This next excerpt is from the last story of my second book 'Blessings of Death'. It is titled 'Of Death and Plagues'.

'In 1347 the black plague had reached it's peak. Across Europe thousands perished as this vile disease, festered in pestilence, showered the landscape with death. No one rich or poor, nor learned or simple, nor strong or weak were spare from it's putrid touch. In the inner cities, so many had been wiped out that there wasn't enough room to bury them all. Mass graves had become common as well as the unfortunate souls who had to collect the corpses. One such man was Phillipe Deitre and this is his story...
A man of sorrow he was. Calloused and bitter. For there once was a time in his life when he had known better days, but not now. The ravenous plague had stolen from him his one true love and had left him in a state of continuous indifference. Originally a farm hand by trade, he now found himself carting numerous bodies left in the plagues wake. Ironically, it was a job he volunteered for. Each day was the same to him, as did not care if he continued living or joined the dead. To each neighboring village he would walk carrying his death stained cart behind him...'

Excerpts from 'Blessings of Death' 5. 'The Call of E'ferries'

This next excerpt is from the fifth short story from my book 'Blessings of Death'. It is titled 'The Call of E'ferries'.

'The judgement had been made. A once bright and shining cherub had been cast out of the Celestial kingdom and forcefully driven into the pit. Having been found full of iniquity and pride, redemption would never again be an option to him. As his angelic brethren observed his defaming, the cherub hid his emotions well. Slowly, he was marched outside the gates of Heaven and as the cherub saw the gates close and lock his indifference turned to melancholy.
A single tear dropped from his untarnished face and instantly he let his true feelings of rage be known. "Banishment is not extinction! Banished though I am, I still exist! Though I cannot share my pain with you, Oh high one, I'm sure your cherished creation of mankind will be an easy task indeed. Let this be known! At every chance, at every instance, at every available moment shall I grace them. This I do promise unto thee. Mark my words!....'

Excerpts from 'Blessings of Death' 4 'The Knight of the Dragon'

The following excerpt is from the third story from 'Blessings of Death', and my personal favorite, 'Knight of the Dragon'.

'The gathering of the black mass. It was a foul sight. Half naked shrouded bodies covered the countryside. The element of ritual was clear. The reason was not. The twisted patterns of flesh remained constant. Howls of lust and madness filled the night sky. All that was obscene appealed to them. They were the children of darkness and soon the reason for this terrible ceremony would be known. Grunting and groaning, there was not a soul present not participating in the perverted festivities. And with good reason. Their worst would bring evils best- the son of perdition.
They usually met like this. This was their sacrament, their unholy sabbath. But tonight bore different tidings. Much more important ones.
After what seemed like hours of animalistic ravishing, the crowd of naked bodies focused their attention on a tall man in white robes. "I, high priest of the Order of the Dragon, hereby commence the coming of he, the beast of all prophecies. Let it be done."
Through the crowd a pregnant woman was escorted. She was beautiful and fair, yet heavily draped in black robes. She was unclothed and placed on the altar that stood in the middle of all the mass. A few minutes passed and she started going into labor. As she did, the high priest read aloud from a large red book. "Let he who comprehends know the number of the beast. For it is the number of a man. And his number is 666." As his voice grew louder in reading, the woman's pains began to grow immensely. Her screams filled the silence and were followed by howls of madness from the crowd, for they knew his coming was near....'

Excerpts from 'Blessings of Death' 3. 'The Tale of the Torturer'

This next excerpt is from the third story from 'Blessings of Death'.
It's titled 'The Tale of the Torturer'.

'I have served Queen Bactria well. Perhaps too well. In the dungeons of winter castle, I took delight in her cause. The cause of evil. For giving pain to people seemed to please her and for this she employed me. For this was a trade that was not unknown to me. I can still hear the screams from the pain I caused, caused by her request.
My Queen was a beauty in every way imaginable. However, she possessed a heart of ice. Her family ancestry may have contributed to this. For it was made up of brutes, conjurers, and lust mongers. Perhaps the only lust my Queen indulged in was that of bloodlust. Whatever enemy made her path, be it land owner or nobleman, in did not matter. Their pain was her delight and my laborious endeavor...'

Excerpts from 'Blessings of Death' 2 'Vampyro'

The next excerpt is from the second short story of my book 'Blessings of Death'.
It's titled 'Vampyro'.

'The dying soldier lay in agony. Blood pouring from his wounded abdomen. The battle had been well fought by both sanctions, and although our man had done more than good in the heat of battle, one of the Turks was quick to fire a crossbow. As the serfs of the Turks carried away the rest of the dying, they ignored the plight of this mortally wounded man.
Soon he was alone. He knew the cold touch of death would be upon him in moments. "Do you wish to live?" A strange voice came from behind the shadows. The soldier was bewildered. Was this real? "Yes or no!" The soldier, gargling on his own blood, made a sound that fairly resembled 'yes'. "By all means then, do so!" A pale white hand reached from the darkness and pulled the arrow from his quivering body. At once the soldier screamed and passed out into a sleep like trance.
Inside his mind he could envision horrid eyes staring from a midnight background. He could hear child-like voices chanting a word in a repeating rhythm. 'Manifesto! Manifesto!' and a demonic howl. A cry of hate. Many times he would awake to feel severe pains in his body. It seemed as if he was dead, but of course he wasn't. He was beyond. He was far beyond....'

Excerpts from 'Blessings of Death' 1 'The Old Sinner'

This month I will be sharing excerpts from my second book 'Blessings of Death'. I do hope you all enjoy them.
This first excerpt is from the first story 'The Old Sinner'.
'I met him years ago. Notorious and wicked and yet unknown to most of the world. When I met him his body was frail and his soul was faded with age. He hardly resembled the part of a monster. In the serene confines of the Hadley boarding house I made his acquaintance. An acquaintance I would be able to forget no matter my efforts. As he was regarded by the few who knew him as wholly evil, the name of Monteque Forrell has stayed with me these long years.
I was a young ambitious boy. Naive and impressionable. And as it had many times before, my journalistic ambitions had brought me to Hadleys. For, especially in those days, the memories and experiences of those who had lived out the majority of their lives commanded my interests. Be it a scholar, an adventurer, dignitary, and the lot. Unfortunately, the majority of people who I happened upon in Hadley were honestly quite normal and had lived quite simply. All that would change the day Forrell became a resident....'

Reflections...

Well, I hope you all enjoyed the following excerpts from my first book. The themes for each story are different, but very similar in the fact that they pertain to a dark aspect of human nature, and imagination. The influences of each story were different. 'The Chalice' I wrote because of my interests in witchcraft and the notion that certain objects hold within them vast power. Power that is both literal and symbolic. I also included my belief that there are consequences for every decision made in life. 'The Demon and the Heretic' was based on several tales I had heard about people making deals with the infernal for reasons of vengeance. And with this tale, as well as all the others I had heard, The person who does this does not get at all what they had bargained for. 'To the Gallows' was a story that was actually based on true incidents. Johannes Junius was prosecuted and charged as a Witch in Germany in 1628. He was tortured until he gave his tormentors a false confession that ultimately led to his execution. Hearing his tale, I felt obligated to share it with the rest of the world in the form of my own story. 'The Sabbat' was a story based on the occurrences of what happens at a black mass. While it is widely believed that most of what was said about such happenings is indeed false, I had never before read a story dedicated to such an event. And I felt it was well worth looking into. Next month, I will be sharing more excerpts of my second book 'Blessings of Death'.

Excerpts from 'Praise the Shadows' 4. 'The Sabbat'

The following is an excerpt from the last story from my first book 'Praise the Shadows'. It's properly titled 'The Sabbat'.

'....Within the meadow, outside the trees, he could see at least a hundred. Perhaps there were more. To the steady rhythm of drumming they, dressed in black clad, danced and twirled, laughing and howling like wolves. Contorting their bodies into somersaults and hurling the most blasphemous terms known to man. It was clear to him that they were consumed by madness.
In the middle of the meadow, there was a large throne-like chair. Upon the throne sat a strange looking creature. It had the body of a man, but the head and legs of a goat. As the dancing continued, this creature simply observed with amusement, not speaking or moving. Clearly, the festivities were conducted in his honor. Clearly, it was he who exacted authority over all who were present. All except for the lone hidden observer.
The dancing continued. As some leapt through the air, others crawled on all fours, even bending backwards and touching the ground. Forwards and backwards, their bodies moved at a furious pace. Above the dancing mob he could see the familiar flock of ravens, the same his wife had left with. She must have been somewhere in the crowd, but he could not see her. What he did notice was the goat of the throne gesturing with his left hand which signaled an end to the dancing. Soon all bodies became still...'

Excerpts from 'Praise the Shadows' 3. 'To the Gallows'

This next excerpt is from the third story of 'Praise the Shadows', 'To the Gallows'.

'My beloved Sandra, daughter and friend, Fate has run it's course to me. As my body lay broken, know that whatever I am accused, I am not the perpetrator. For in my timely existence I labored to be a righteous man. Such actions are deemed futile, as on the morrow my life ends on the gallows. The council of inquisition, by the use of terrible force, have coerced a confession worthy of my death. None have spoken on my behalf, for none have considered my life important enough to intervene. God himself has turned away from my sufferings. Only you, Sandra, have been the one soul who ever loved someone without the luxury of luck as myself. If anything else my child, be aware that tomorrow as innocent man dies.
Mercarto finished what would be the last letter ever written from his broken hands. Heavy was his heart. His only possession was the memories of a life not daunted with pain and fear. From inside his cell he could see the pale of moonlight. "How could a God who could create the Earth, the sky, and the Heavens allow my innocence to go unnoticed?" Rage was put aside. For any spirit he had left in him had been destroyed by cruel and unusual tortures by the filthy hands of the inquisition. Memories of a far distant life were the only comfort to a life that was surely to die by the coming dawn. There truly was no justice in this world.....'

Excerpts from 'Praise the Shadows' 2. 'The Demon and the Heretic'

This excerpt is from the story 'The Demon and the Heretic':

'They say he was once a good man. They say a lot of things. If the circumstances are able, the light inside can escape all, even the most dignified of us. Such was this man's condition. For it had been nearly a decade since he was banished from the church. The institution that would have gladly burned him as well. It was truly a wonder that they let him live, But, he would be branded, as that of cattle. The shame he was forced to endure was beyond comprehension. Perhaps for the best-for Samael D'Lanquer replaced his benign spirit with one of pure contempt.
From the moment the steel touched his flesh, he dedicated his life to the dark arts and allowed hatred to grow. Fervently, he found his new passion. To make that wretched foundation pay with their blood.
With the mark of the Heretic upon his forehead, he secretly founded the 'Cathedral of the damned'. located within the nearby ruins of an old castle. Within the darkened walls of the Cathedral he summoned all demons and foul spirits who would make themselves present. Inquiring their unworldly wisdom and abilities, he made to them several promises. Promises that were expected to be fulfilled. Every night a ritual was conducted. A few candles lit the darkness of the castle and Samael would stand in the middle of a large pentagram, inciting strange words and incantations. After many unsuccessful attempts, an answer was made to his call.....'

Excerpts from 'Praise the Shadows' 1. 'The Chalice'

For the next few weeks I am going to show various pieces from the short stories in all of my books. I do hope you all enjoy them.

This is an excerpt from the first story of my first published book 'Praise the Shadows'.
It is called 'The Chalice'.

'She would make her way into the Earth. Looking for what always had been yearned for, the Chalice of Gregor. She was an ancient though she had a very youthful look to her. And like every ancient she possessed knowledge of magic. It was rumored that the Chalice could only be found in the Hell-fires under the Earth's core. None had before sought it, for many had disposed of it as a myth. A myth to most is unimportant but, to this ancient witch, it was a myth well worth searching for.
From the caves of the north she went on through the flames and the molt. It would be a great prize to discover such an object, for if attained, the Chalice yielded great power.
On and on she walked, and she would not cease a second no matter how deep she deep she would go. It's presence could be felt by her. It wouldn't be long before it was in clear view. A slight smile appeared across the witches' cheeks.
Behold, there it stood. On a rock that was shaped like an altar. Flames surrounded the whole area, yet she cared not as she reached out to caress it. Then, very unexpectedly, the flames began to resemble the form of a very large gargoyle. And it spoke: "There's a toll for that pretty. Come hither." She stayed where she was. It spoke again. "Come hither I say" Again she stayed where she was. This was not exactly the reason she came. "If you think you can just leave now, think again!.....'

Midnight at Greyfriars Kirkyard

Last year, when I went to Edinburgh, Scotland, I had an experience most would consider 'phenomena'. The lovely Ms.Anthropy and myself had taken the 'graveyard' tours through

Greyfriars Kirkyard(supposedly the most haunted place in Britain) and when they were over, the tour guide let us know that the graveyard was open to the public at all times. Going back to my hotel and taking a shower, I just couldn't get the thought out of my mind of heading back to the graveyard and truly seeing for myself if the tales told about Greyfriars, and of the notorious 'Mackenzie' poltergeist were indeed true. Grabbing my coat and heading out the door, I ran as fast as I could and before I knew it, I was there. When I got there, the graveyard literally looked like a scene out of a Peter Cushing movie. Fog was about three feet off the ground and the grave stones and tombs looked very wicked indeed. Looking at my phone, I was surprised to see that I had arrived at the witching hour of midnight. Walking to the Coventer's prison, I had to stand outside of the gate(which was locked. The only part of the Graveyard that is.) I then began to call out to the spirit of George Mackenzie(a notorious figure of Scottish history). After a few minutes of doing so, I looked around and noticed that everything seemed to be moving, but nothing was. It was as if time itself was standing still. I heard leaves rustle as if something was walking, but I saw no one. Looking around for about five minutes, things slowly began to become normal again. It almost felt like I was drunk, but I hadn't drank the whole time I was in Scotland. After another ten minutes of standing by the gates, I left. Leaving, I gave Bobby(The dog statue in front of the entrance of the graveyard) a pet. I don't know if I can consider what happened anything relevant, but what it felt like is a completely different story!

Different roads to the same destination

What else is there in life besides to achieve your full potential? I think that if your not doing that then your not truly happy, no matter what you tell yourself. But, I, like so many others, would like to know just how someone actually does that. I have heard every opinion from here to the corners of the Earth and they all made zero sense. Maybe, just maybe, the 'rules' don't really apply to all of us the same way. While one road may work for one person, the same road might lead to dead end for someone else. In that sense, maybe we simply create our own individual paths to success. It doesn't really matter which road I take to get there, so long as I'm still writing!

Time laspe

Of course, I have started writing a new story. This one deals with the subjects of torture and sexual sadism. The time that lapses between stories always frustrates me to a degree. I hate to waste time, no matter how justified I am in the process. Every time I finish a story there is always a substantial period of time that goes by before I start another one, and I always make sure that I start another one. You have to get the inspiration to put the story line together and then you have to make sure that the wording that you use is precise. Sometimes, I must admit, the time lapse is so long I wonder if I am actually going to continue writing. And, of course, the answer is always 'YES'.

True to the cause of Horror!

I'm pretty sure that every writer that has ever lived ran out of ideas at some point in their writing career. No one can keep making up decent material forever. How perfect of a world we would live in if that was the case. I'm pretty sure it is because of that terrible fact, that writers of every genre venture into other genre's that are completely foreign to the ones they specialize in. For instance, Edgar Allen Poe actually tried his hand at detective stories, and H.P. Lovecraft wrote science fiction as well as Horror stories. I don't know, maybe I'm just an old-fashioned fanatic, but I don't see myself writing under any other genre. I guess it's the only genre that can actually identify with. I really don't feel anything when I read any drama, or comedy, or romantic works. When I read, or especially when I write, horror stories I can truly feel the desolation included with the themes of it. Perhaps that is the main reason why I shall write only horror, forever!

Reviews of the fickle

The other day I had someone give my first book a less than favorable review. Of course, It did little more than upset me. But before I began to second guess my work, which she dubbed anti-climatic, I had to ask myself a very simple question: What had this person ever achieved that made her opinion worth anything to anyone? You can assume that the answer was, of course, nothing. As writers, we must always remember that there are far more negative and opinionated people who are all in a big hurry to belittle someone else's work than there are those who create anything worth creating. Putting everything into proper perspective, I laughed the whole thing off. I also noticed that this same person gave favorable reviews to books that could be best described as trendy. This made me even less inclined to pay her the slightest attention. In a perfect world, people like the a fore mentioned narrow mind, would stick to reviewing the mundane and popular monotonous works of hack writers, and let real HORROR fans review real HORROR books!

Things necessary to publish

For those who are trying to put a book together, there are several things that must included for the publication process to be complete. First, there is the ISBN number which is basically a book identifier. Next, is a Library of Congress number so the book can be recognized as legitimate. After that comes a very important thing, the copyright number. This makes sure that no one else can legally steal your work. And last, but not least, the bar code. This makes sure that your book can be sold at stores. The process of acquiring all these things can take some time, but if you have a competent publisher it shouldn't take longer than a couple of weeks. Trying to publish without any of the aforementioned elements is a guarantee that either no one will notice your work, or someone will try to plagiarize it.

Keeping busy

The best never rest. That is a quote I heard in a movie a long time ago. I think it's especially true for anyone trying to accomplish anything. Recently I published my third book this year. I now have my sights set on publishing a fourth book. I never like resting on my laurels. My next book will be entitled 'First in Hell'. I don't know when exactly I will publish but I think it's always better to plan things in advance. I'm also working on creating a new short story. Every time I finish a story, my mind gets anxious if I don't start working on a new one right away. Of course the genre will always remain the same, but I do like to challenge myself as a writer. These things, along with writing magazine articles and several other endeavors, should keep me busy for a long time to come.

Individual resolve

I've heard the saying that Life is a journey. Nothing could be more true in regards to writing. From coming up with material, to getting published, getting marketed, famous, and so on. It's a long road indeed. What I think separates those who achieve anything from those who do not doesn't completely rely on ability alone. I have seen plenty of talented people quit. It is the resolve of the individual that is most important. The ability to handle the endless frustrations that come from the complex game of life. For instance, if you find yourself unable to handle the terrible fact that when you start out as a writer you're going to have more than a few naysayers, you might not be able to handle the other problems that come your way. I feel it is the way you handle that problem in particular that determines the rest of your writing journey.

Entering a contest

I, for the first time in my life, have participated in a horror literature contest. I wont know the results until probably September or October. It is definitely something different and I must say, I hope I win. Believe me when I say that it is really not about the financial earnings that propel my hopes (first-place winner only gets $100.00) but it is the notoriety that I want. I swear, the things all of us writers must do to acquire an audience!

Constantly searching for inspiration

as usual, I'm searching high and low for inspiration. I'm one of those kind of people that needs constant mental and physical stimulation and if I'm not getting it, I'm probably something of a corpse. Maybe some others would call ADHD, but I think it's something else. I guess it all comes down to a question of happiness and fulfillment. When one truly feels happy and content, they may not be as driven to succeed as someone who sets impossible standards for themselves. I can honestly say that no matter what I accomplish in this life, nothing will permit me to rest on my laurels. Maybe that is a good thing, maybe not!

Interesting find

I typed my name on google the other day and was shocked to see what I found. A whole two pages of things that were related to things I had done in the writing world. From my book trailer on youtube, to advertisements on Barnes and Noble for all three of my books, to the two articles I had written for an E-zine, My Facebook and Myspace profiles and so on. I didn't really know what to think. I am far from being a celebrity. It seemed rather strange to me. Strange, but nice.
It's always nice to see what you have accomplished, but the truth is I am not even close to being where I want to be as far as my ambition is concerned. I want to be the most remembered and revered Horror writer that ever lived. I want to be the man who actually put true horror back in the spotlight. And if I can do that, I will die a happy man!

Hating to stand still

I must admit that I am a rather ambitious person. I believe that when it comes to life, there aren't any second chances. I have many things that I want to do that I haven't even come close to doing. So, I try to get as close as I can to accomplishing those goals on a daily basis. Sometimes, when it feels like nothing is happening at the speed that I prefer, I, like many others similar to me, become discouraged. When I'm on my deathbed, I want to look back at my life and know that I lived up to my fullest potential. Time is everything.

26th story finally done!

Today I finished my 26th short story 'To the Victor, the Spoils.' I must say that I have experienced deja vu during the last three stories I have written. All three took a lot of time, all three were very difficult to proceed with because I was plagued by writers' block at every instance, and I wanted to quit each and every one of them and I'm very happy that I didn't. They are also remarkably similar in length. I do hope that each story I create from now on is somewhat easier. If not, I don't know what I will do. I have another story lurking in the confines of my imagination. I'm thinking of calling it 'The Loss of Heaven'.

Expanding horizons

I have recently begun working as a freelance writer for many online publications. This I do in the name of keeping things interesting. I am also promoting my third book(and my previous two as well). The subjects which I shall write about, of course, are going to be in relation only to things I find irresistible and morbid. The first article I wrote was a informative piece about Greyfriars Kirkyard. The haunted cemetery in the heart of Edinburgh, Scotland. I have several other things I have in mind. From Vampirism, black metal, depravity, and so on. Keeping yourself busy is a virtue unto itself!

Striving for excellence

As I now concern myself with the promotion of my new book, I still find myself working on my other writings as well. As always, writer's block has filtered it's way back to me. When that happens, I always seem to lose focus on just about everything. Perhaps it is my striving for excellence that consistently brings me to this place. I always like to make sure that everything I write is worth writing, if you will. I never replace quality simply because it takes a long time, and it always seems to.

Done at last!

Finally, my third book is finished! It has taken a month longer than I thought it would, but I have no complaints. Had it not been for the support of Ms.Anthropy I don't think I could have finished it at all. She made sure that everything ran as smooth as could be considering the circumstances. Elation and excitement are all that I'm feeling at the moment and now, as before, promotion is on my mind

Standard issues of problems

I'm getting my third book finished this week. I'm very proud to say the least but, it has not come without it share of difficulties. The binders that I'm using have had trouble formatting the text, editing, getting the cover correct and so on. Every time I publish a book, I notice that with the publication comes a laundry list of problems. Ones that i consider quite petty. With that in mind, I can completely understand why people in the creative industry, be they music, art, movies, literature and so on get so easily annoyed when they are trying to finish a piece of work they are proud of only to face setback after painstaking setback. What pulls me through such disappointments till I get the results I want is a concept in my mind I never forget. The fact that I am doing something that separates myself from the numerous masses of non-achievers. That at the end of the day, I'm doing, and accomplishing, what I want to do. Someone who has not done such a thing, nor even tried, could never know the elation it brings!

Fascinating Character

I have used many elements for my stories. Elements from history, mythology, superstition, and so on. Many of my stories are actually based on real life incidents. The witch craze and the burning times, the black plague, and numerous wars. I have also taken a lot of inspiration from actual people as well. The Marquis De Sade, Elizabeth Bathory, Aleister Crowley, Gilles De Rais, And Vlad Tepes (otherwise known as 'Dracula') are but a few out of many that have inspired me. And then there is the one character who is very prevalent in all my stories, the one character who has inspired me like no other. The Devil.
Ever since I was a young child, this character has brought to me nothing less than fascination. I believe it is this fascination, coupled with other reasons as well, that brought me to writing horror in the first place. It is with this character in mind that I have the point of view in my stories based around the villain.
I find it amusing that all ancient cultures have there own version of him. The Ancient Egyptians had two Gods that were very similar to the Devil, Atep and Set. The Ancient Greeks and Romans had Hades and Dis. Zoroaster, the religion of ancient Persia, had Angra Mainyu or 'Ultimate Darkness'. The Germanic's had Loki(whose daughter is appropriately named Hel). It is interesting to note that when the church in the dark ages actually put a face on the Devil, they took features from the Egyptian God Seth, and the Ancient Greek deity Pan. It is because of that, that people associate The Devil with serpents and him having horns and cloven hooves. Facts of this nature have inspired me my whole life and continue to do so today!

Third times the charm

Alas, I have done it again. The lovely Ms. Anthropy has again worked her magic and published my third book. As always, she was instrumental in the production of the book and her ambition and benevolence know's no boundaries. The excitement I feel at the moment is completely unexplainable. There is nothing in the whole world like holding a finished copy of your work in your hand, no matter what kind of work it may be. Now comes the tricky part, promotion.

Doing only what pleases you

I once read where someone said that their personal philosophy was that 'If something isn't fun, I won't do it.' I must say that I agree with that philosophy 100 percent. If you think about it, how is anyone actually benefiting themselves by doing things they honestly can not stand? If anything, they are causing detriment to their lives. Time wasted in such a manner takes away from time you can spend doing things you love. I have heard many excuses people tell themselves justifying the fact that they do this. Whether it's paying bills, taking care of families, and so on. While I respect that those reasons can in fact hold significance in people's lives, everyone must remember that we are all living on borrowed time. The fact is no one knows when their number is up so to say. If someone feels that the only reason for their life is to repeatedly engage in a series of miserable experiences (and you would be surprised at how many people feel this way) they are going to be extremely sorry when they are finally nothing more than a worm feast. As for myself, I don't care if I live for only one more minute or one hundred years. I'm going to spend it doing as I wish.

Why are we here?

I find it amusing when people actually state that they have the true reason we are all here upon the Earth. And I have heard them all. 'God wants us here', 'To figure out some sort of moral understanding', 'Were here for each other'. They all make about the same amount of sense.
The truth is that No one really knows. Not religions. Not Scientists, Not the people who claim to be wise. No one. It's kind of confusing. I think I would like to know what life's purpose is and why we all have to go through all of these ridiculous trials. What is the purpose of that? I mean, for the most part, we don't really learn anything from them. And sometimes, they seriously hinder us. Consider any true freak. What good has his or her affliction benefited them. What have they learned from being ostracized from everyone and laughed and jeered at? Besides learning the obvious fact that people can be cruel, I don't think they have gained anything from it. And the pain from going through such experiences stays with us forever sometimes. It is a fortunate person indeed who can forget such events. Maybe we learn the real reason of life when we die. But, if thats the case, do we really ever learn anything from it? To this day I cannot answer that question.

'Behold the Darkness' almost completed!

My third book is just about completed. I'm very excited about it. For the last three years I have been following my publishing ambitions. Just like my previous book, 'Blessings of Death', This book has six stories and a certain moral before each story to let the reader know exactly what the true meaning of the story is. For this particular book, I took an illustration from the Dante Alighieri tale 'Dante's Inferno' for the cover. I think it fits quite well with the title of the book. I really must say that I respect all those that follow their dreams no matter the obstacles and no matter how long it takes them. I believe the only person with the final say in your own destiny is you. Now, after all is done on my part, I have to look forward to yet promoting another book.

Relying on Just Yourself

One thing I have learned in my life is that you really cannot rely on anyone else except yourself. Once you do, you set yourself up for disappointment. People being the way are really do not prioritize anything that is not self-driven. This is especially true in the fields of writing and publishing. Most of us have to learn this dismal fact the hard way. Chances are, the majority of writers, would-be and otherwise, have had to pay someone to publish their work. Once they do there are a plethora of things that can happen, few of them good. First of all, we learn the value of contracts(thank goodness I always demand them before completing any business venture with anyone). If you pay someone without completing one, they legally do not have to fulfill any obligation to you at all. If you do in fact complete one, a timeline must be set(otherwise you will wind up wasting years of your life waiting just like I did). If the person in charge of getting you published has any say so with the final product of your work, you might want to discuss specific details of it with them on a regular basis or else the quality of your work will suffer. All in all, no one else in the world is going to care about your work the way you do, not even your fans. In the publishing world, it's better to be a jack of all trades and master of none than being just a decent writer with no other skills.

The show must go on

It seems that I might be making my appropriate deadline for my third book 'Behold the Darkness' after all. A most resilient character, Ms.Anthropy has bounced back from her former situation and is determined to publish on time. I cannot wait to hold yet another one of my works in my hand and feel the satisfaction that follows. Authors that have never done such a thing could never know such a feeling of elation. After this particular work, I have two more planned publications and by that time hopefully I will have a few more. I must always remember, a writer writes.

A third book published

Again I have decided to get some of my works published. That would make three times in as many years. The next book I am going to publish is called 'Behold, the Darkness'. It is also a collection of several short stories, all with a significant meaning beyond the concept of horror. I try not to sway away from the style my previous books had because I consider it to be very unique compared to others in the writing world. There will also be a moral before each story, a devilish prose to try and make everyone understand the meaning of each tale. Aside from a few remaining details to be carried out such as the cover, which picture I am going to use on the back, and so forth, the book is basically done. When it is finally completed it will available at amazon.com. I will inform everyone of it's release date.

Do you believe?

My own personal philosophy has been for years 'You are what you believe in'.
I believe that this relates to most people in general. It usually takes a person who can break out of the mold of general thinking and believe in something lavish and grand to accomplish something that is worth doing. Although the same person will probably be criticized non-stop by his lesser thinking peers, they will no doubt be unique in the sense that their life will be worth something because of what they accomplish. And they will only accomplish it because of what they believe in. I try to set my sights to the skies if you will and never try to adopt beliefs that hinder me at all, be they religious or otherwise. Whenever I hear someone who states that they don't believe in anything I have to take a look at the core of what they have done in their life, the daily sense of positivity they feel, and what benefit they are towards others. Chances are, they are what they believe in!

Discovering haunted sites

In the horror movie 'The Entity', two paranormal researchers discover that a woman's home is haunted, and she is being sexually violated by the spirits, just from a simple conversation at the library. I believe that the most haunted places on earth are the places that really no one knows about. It is these places that I want to discover the most and the reasons would not be what the majority of people would think. I don't want to challenge the spirits or instigate any form of confrontation. My main objective would be to just prove to every form of skeptics that there is indeed life after death. Now the real question is 'How do I find such places?' I guess the truth is that you just have to keep your eyes open. If there is anyone out there that actually believes a certain residence is haunted, you can let me know whenever, however.