Monday, May 31, 2010
Freak by nature
When I take a look at myself, I see someone who isn't necessarily hideous, but a freak none the less. Yeah, I was that one kid who everyone stared at and, unlike some, I never wanted such attention. I didn't dress the way I did or like the music or movies or subjects that I did because I wanted to be different or a trendsetter or follow a certain crowd, I just was the way I was. Being such a way definitely has it's difficulties. For instance, when I went to school most of the girls there didn't want much to do with you if you were not socially 'acceptable' (even today I have trouble figuring out what that means). I can't tell you how many painful rejections I had. None of that stuff really bothers me today though. And that, I think, is one of my strong points. I refuse to feel ashamed about being the way I am.
It's not bad being a freak. You are what you are. But, a lot of us pay too much attention to how other people think or feel. To me, it's almost a blessing being a freak. Your point of view, though somewhat cynical at times, is completely your own.
And you learn one of the ultimate truths: That you learn more about people when they hate you than when they actually care about you. You learn how cruel they can be, how fake they can be, and so on. I hope one day I can be sort of a spokes-person for all of the unsung freaks because I'm pretty sure that there are quite a few of us. To all of you out there that weep the tears only a freak could weep, I salute you!