Tuesday, August 31, 2010
I have a struggle with what I call 'perpetual emptiness'. It's that feeling that you are truly dead inside. That nothing really matters, not even life itself. To have such feelings you no longer feel the joy of life and living basically turns to an unwanted sort of chore. It would be difficult to describe this to someone who has never felt it. Professionals probably call it 'Depression' but I think there is more to it than that. Feeling the way that I sometimes do, I can understand why some people decide to commit suicide. Although I, myself, would never even think of doing anything like that. Others who feel similar as myself probably have forgotten the joys life is supposed to bring with it and instead feel nothing but sorrow. In that state, it seems that nothing can bring you out of it. Not even a strong desire to free yourself from it. After all, who really wants to live like that? I have had this struggle for most of my life and even to this day I don't know of any permanent solution to it. The only answer I keep giving myself is to try to continue on with life, even if it is only to see even more 'perpetual emptiness'.