Freak by nature

When I take a look at myself, I see someone who isn't necessarily hideous, but a freak none the less. Yeah, I was that one kid who everyone stared at and, unlike some, I never wanted such attention. I didn't dress the way I did or like the music or movies or subjects that I did because I wanted to be different or a trendsetter or follow a certain crowd, I just was the way I was. Being such a way definitely has it's difficulties. For instance, when I went to school most of the girls there didn't want much to do with you if you were not socially 'acceptable' (even today I have trouble figuring out what that means). I can't tell you how many painful rejections I had. None of that stuff really bothers me today though. And that, I think, is one of my strong points. I refuse to feel ashamed about being the way I am.
It's not bad being a freak. You are what you are. But, a lot of us pay too much attention to how other people think or feel. To me, it's almost a blessing being a freak. Your point of view, though somewhat cynical at times, is completely your own.
And you learn one of the ultimate truths: That you learn more about people when they hate you than when they actually care about you. You learn how cruel they can be, how fake they can be, and so on. I hope one day I can be sort of a spokes-person for all of the unsung freaks because I'm pretty sure that there are quite a few of us. To all of you out there that weep the tears only a freak could weep, I salute you!

Writing to 'shock'

A marketing friend once told me that the majority of books are found out through word of mouth, meaning people read them and then talk about them with their friends who then talk about them with their friends and so on. Getting people to pay attention I guess is the tricky part. I have learned in my life that the majority of people have about a 15 second attention span and with that in mind, I am trying to discover new and intriguing methods to make them interested.
But it always amazes me when I really take notice and see what they are usually paying attention to, literature wise. For women, it is usually Romance novels and there are literally hundreds of them and they all have the same storyline. For men, it is political or courtroom thrillers which are about as interesting to me as going to the dentist. Both of these genre's are so overplayed that it boggles the mind!
And lets not forget the plethora of 'feelgood' self-help books that people read because they think just by reading them that their little lives are going to miraculously change overnight, you'd be surprised how many people actually believe that.
I, myself, am looking for an audience that still enjoys to be shocked. Isn't always easy in such a jaded world, but I do try. In that sense I can equate myself with the classic and controversial writer, The Marquis De Sade. The time at which he wrote was delicate to say the least, and the material he created was considered so vile that it almost cost him his life. But still his passion was there. Mine is as well.

Have fun with the 'grunt' work

Both the publishing and marketing processes require a lot of what is called 'grunt' work. Finding people to review your book (people who have a name worth paying attention to), Submitting your works to libraries, Bookstores, online stores, etc,
and generating an interest about you, the author. Because people can be extremely fickle in what they are interested in, these can all be considered a daunting task at times.
I guess it gets easier when you consider such work 'fun' (something I have to work on). You also have to realize that you may have to give out a certain amount of copies for free simply so people will know about you. I remember giving a friend a copy of my first book because I wanted feedback about how he felt about it and his mother burned it because she thought it was evil. Sad as I was about that, it made me remember that there is no such thing as bad publicity. I feel that it does not matter how people feel about you, whether they like you or not, just as long as they pay attention to what your trying to do. I'm pretty sure that when people start reading my books, more than a few of them are going to be quite upset. At the very least my works will be called 'sacrilegious' and frankly, I don't care. So long as people read them!

Future plans

In roughly six months from now(or a little longer) I plan to publish my third book, 'First in Hell'. Of course it's going to be written in the style similar to my first two books with 4-6 short stories, a moral prose at the beginning of each story, a fantastic cover, an about the author page, author photo, and so on.
With all that is going on right now for my first and second books, I still try to plan ahead and make sure that all my goals are being met. I'm planning a trip this Halloween to New Orleans to visit the grave of Marie Laveau, voodoo queen of the 1830's. I'm sure that I will leave no stone uncovered as far as all details are concerned.
That is another thing I plan to do more of. Travel to strange and haunting sites and write about them. Too bad that most of the 'really' haunted places are probably far from my home and probably my country as well. Doesn't really matter.
In my honest opinion, the most haunted places are places that are not really given a lot of media attention. I've been to several places that the media referred to as 'haunted' and it was nothing but a marketing ploy, something I am not in the least bit interested in. Hopefully, there are a few places that are genuinely 'Disturbed' if you will, so that way I can visit them and actually experience 'Something' worth experiencing.

To redefine a genre

As you know, I published my second book 'Blessings of Death' a couple of weeks ago. It includes within it six short stories. The names of these stories are as follows:
1). The Old Sinner
2). Vampyro
3). The Tale of the Torturer
4). The Knight of the Dragon
5). Of Death and Plagues
6). The Call of E'ferries
It's a tad longer than my first book and, possibly, a little more extreme but there's nothing wrong with that! Hopefully, that will come to be my signature trait as a writer. And in truth I have a lot of material still that I plan on publishing. It makes me feel good to know that I've already proven many naysayers wrong about me, and the more I press forward with my passion makes me feel even better.
To redefine a genre is my ultimate goal. A genre that has been poisoned by commercialism, lack of conviction, and, most of all, apathy. I don't feel that people honestly care about Horror anymore for the most part.I plan to change that!

Again prowling for material

Being a writer, and having finished my 24th short story a little more than a month ago, I am once again on the prowl for material that I consider acceptable. I never really know how I am going to start a story or what it's going to be about.I just get a glimpse of something that inspires me and then the story literally takes on a life of it's own. I guess you could say it's similar to possession.
I'm doing my usual research into intensely violent history, watching as many slasher films as humanly possible, listening to as many dark-yet-melodic metal bands as time will allow, even reading the obituaries (one of my favorite pastimes, by the way).
I'll also read a lot of books about sorcery and magic rituals. The pomp and pageantry alone capture my imagination, no matter what they are used for. I can't seem to find out enough about them. From the rites used in ceremonies from the middle ages, to the ones used in Voodoo.
I like to make sure that I write material that no one has ever heard of before, or tried. And in order to do just that, I feel like I have to strain myself to the point where I can feel it literally in my soul for me to get the exact amount of inspiration that I need. I guess it's worth it when I create a fantastic story, but I'm never quite the same afterward.

A few of my favorite things

One of my favorite things to do is to visit cemeteries. I truly enjoy the serenity and I feel myself connected to the dead. Believe me, if I could communicate with them, I would. When I was in Europe many years ago, I was in pure bliss because their graveyards were so elaborate compared to those in America. At least I thought so.
I think I spent the majority of my trip wandering through countless rows of headstones and viewing crypts and tombs I can only describe as marvelous. Such acts might be considered morbid by some, but it is better to be morbid than monotonous I always say.
If I wasn't a writer I'd probably be a mortician. Just to be able to be close to the dead would be so uplifting. To share their 'peace' if you will. They fascinate me.
Forests too. The thicker the better. There really is no better way to spend an afternoon than walking through a thick, beautiful, and haunting forest. To wonder what history lies within it. In Prague, I walked through a forest known as the 'Black Forest'. It was supposedly haunted and it felt utterly wonderful.
The Carpathian forests are what I would like to visit next. Their history is quite interesting. And I'm sure there are several others in the world I would like to see.