Geographic preferences

Believe it or not, I have a preference for which nations I want my writing to appeal to. I mean all nations on the Earth would be fine by me but, realistically, this might not be the case. Some countries really are more literate than others. Take my own country for example, U.S.A, this is a country whose literacy rate is lower than that of third world countries so when you consider that, than you realize that if your to be successful as a writer here your success is going to be limited.
I really want my works to be noticed in Europe first. Their haunted history and love of all things Gothic make them a prime candidate. Plus, they still love the written word and have a high literacy rate. Japan would be my second choice. The Japanese people love and adore all things they consider to be unique. And they absolutely love horror stories and imagery as well. When one finds success in Japan it is usually not moderate, but explosive! My third choice would definitely be Brazil(and pretty much the rest of South America). The Brazilians, from what I've seen of them, cant get enough of Horror, Heavy Metal music, and insane stuff in general. My kind of people! I usually daydream about how book signings would be in such places and I can almost guarantee that my chances of success as a writer would be much higher there.

Moment of Sadness

I usually try to not let my emotions dictate any sort of action, but today I had some sadness I couldn't quite ignore. My Siamese cat disappeared and I'm pretty sure she went off to die by herself. She was over 23 human years old. Being a total animal lover, you could say that right at this moment in time I'm a little more than depressed. When you have such a connection to an animal, any animal, when they pass away part of you passes with them. I don't know how many pets I have lost in the past, but it was always the same. The loss and emptiness that you feel doesn't end quickly enough and you can never really replace them. Although I admit that I am into some pretty twisted things, I guess that is the part of me that will always cling to what you could call humanity. Whenever I see animals that are dead on the side of the road or abused in any way, I feel terrible for them. I don't think I share the same feelings for people. For all their supposed 'inferiority' I think animals possess noble traits that people could learn from. All people. And though I know I will get over losing her, I know I am going to miss her forever.

Unnecessary Agents

With my experience in dealing with the literary world I have seen many people employ 'agents'. In truth, I really don't see what makes them such a necessity. For the most part, the work they do seems minimal to say the least. Authors and their publishers are usually the ones that put together a marketing plan, get book signings put together, radio and television interviews and so on. Perhaps they are nothing more than a expensive status symbol or prop, which is funny because the authors that I have seen employ them were anything but wealthy. I personally feel that if you are willing to do the work that is required to get your material to the public, then you do not need them.
I know many of them will never admit to this fact. According to them, you won't get to point 'B' without their help. But, chances are, with their help you will worse off than you were without it, with their expensive fees and lack of productive results. From what I've heard, the majority of them are chock full of excuses when things don't go well for their clientele. Well, excuses don't get anybody anywhere. And then there is the 'connections' argument. That they know so-and-so and could get you a up-close and personal arrangement for them to see your work. It's probable that so-and-so considers them just as annoying as I do (if they even know them) so that is usually nothing more than a blow-hard statement, one they all make by the way. My point is, you don't necessarily need anyone that doesn't contribute 100% to what your doing and yet expects to reap the benefits. With enough mettle and perseverance, you'll do just fine without them!

Feelings of religion

One of the main points I try to convey in several of my stories revolves around my feelings regarding organized religion. To say I look down on the very concept of it is definitely a understatement. Even to this day, wars are fought in the name of it and thousands of people are needlessly slaughtered. If you take a close look at any of them, you will see them as I do. A criminal organization that is essentially designed to brainwash simple folk for their own twisted purposes. With promises of salvation and paradise for the 'faithful' and of pain and damnation for the 'non-believers', they give to themselves a great deal of room for misinterpretation.
I use my stories as a vehicle to try and show their absolute folly. I personally believe that good and evil is in the eye of the beholder. A simple argument of a point of view, if you will. What one believes as good and wholesome might be seen as immoral to another. And the more people argue about who is 'RIGHT' the more hypocritical and absurd they appear. The conclusion of such an argument usually results in actions that make all parties involved seem more primal than anything else. It is truly sad to think of how many souls have perished for such nonsense.

Starting Another Short Story

It's been almost two months and now it's time to start working on another short story. The one that comes to mind is a concept I have had in my mind for some time now. Labeled 'One Night in Csejthe', it is based in the castle of the Blood Countess Elizabeth Bathory. I have to admit she is definitely one of my favorite historical characters. Anyway, the story will revolve a bunch of dim-witted ghost hunters who travel to Slovakia (where the castle is located) to try and see if indeed the castle is haunted. Needless to say, in my story they get much more than they bargain for. Now all I have to do is develop the storyline a bit more. And that is usually what takes the longest. You see, when you start a story you should have a pretty good idea of where you want to go with it, otherwise writers block will set in and that is most assuredly nerve-wracking. So, of course, I am doing a bunch of research on the castles appearance, it's terrain, etc.
It takes me usually two to three months to plan, start, and then complete a story. If it takes me any longer it is usually because of some external factor that is blocking my concentration in some way, and I cannot stand when that happens! Hopefully, for the rest of my days I can still keep coming up with material that is unique, original, and wicked as Hell!

Reflections on rejection

The initial reaction to rejection for everyone is usually the same, especially when dealing with the rejection of something that you have created and are proud of. For the most part, depression will follow no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise. Most people will start second-guessing their work and capabilities, thinking to themselves 'If maybe I change this and this and that, then so-and-so might accept it as something good'. I have seen several people go through this vicious and terrible scenario and the end result is always the same. They stop following their own instincts as writers and begin to try to create material that the majority of readers will accept, never knowing until it's too late that when your work is completely unique and it is still rejected, there is nothing you can do that will generally please those who have rejected you in the first place. Once this grim reality is finally learned by most, the frustration is so immense that the majority of people will usually give up writing entirely.
I, myself, never bothered to care at all about those who had anything else but positive reflections of my work. It gives me no benefit what so ever to even give a half-second listen to people such as they. Whether people like my work or not, it is mine and mine alone. It is not made for everyone to enjoy, and to tell you the truth, I prefer it that way!

The Demon Within

I find myself driven. Driven by a force that ceases to relent. A force that refuses to give to me an ounce of peace. It is because of this unholy force that I chose to become a writer in the first place, as no other outlet would suffice to purge the demon within. It does not matter how many tales of iniquity I complete, the demands upon me to create more of them, even more shocking and wicked than the first, are never ending. The more I choose to ignore them, the more unsustainable they become. I'm sure that people trained in psychology would label someone as myself as being quite insane, but that is not the case at all. I know from the experience of working in an insane asylum, that someone who is truly insane has lost all form of self control. I know exactly what I'm doing. Those that are spiritual might suspect that I'm possibly possessed, and that might be the case, but the simple fact is I feel I have been given a gift. A dark gift, but a gift none the less.
You see, I feel that there are many things in life that are much worse than death. A life plagued by monotony where the only relief to the endless cycle of day to day meaninglessness is the touch of lady luck (who never comes) or the grave. Or, all those lost souls standing on the corner with the cardboard signs and the looks of despair on their faces. My gift separates me from such an existence by driving me to succeed, even if it is beyond the point of humanity. Sometimes I wonder if it is indeed a curse or a blessing.