A question of fate

The thought of the concept of fate is enough to keep anyone awake at night. It is the concept that no matter what sort of steps you take in life, the outcome is predetermined. so, in essence, if you try your hardest to be something positive, productive, and successful and your meant to be nothing but mediocre then that will be your end result. I have mixed feelings for such a concept. I feel that any situation can be influenced and altered depending on the character and grit of the individual facing it. But, when I take a hard and unbiased look at countless stories that tell me otherwise, it truly does make me think. If it is indeed true that all of our lives have with them some sort of prearranged pattern if you will, then where does that pattern include the factors of choice, cause and effect, and otherwise? I guess I will never know. Fate itself leaves a lot of room open for similar questions. And we must ask them. For because of fate not everyone is meant to experience the finer things in life and if there are ways to circumvent fate and actually experience anything that we desire, It would be nice to find out about them. Before I die, I hope I discover exactly that.

Reasons for writing

If you take a look at many of the great Gothic or horror writers from the very-distant past, you will see that almost all of them were plagued by inner demons. It's sad to say that many were drug addicts or alcoholics, and more than a few of them committed suicide. The vast majority died penniless and obscure. These circumstances might explain why, in fact, they chose to write horror in the first place. They probably didn't know anything in life except horror. It encompassed the whole of their lives. Writing was probably their only escape. I, myself, write for different reasons. While I've had my share of depression and sadness, I write horror because I enjoy it. One thing I've noticed from the greats, is that although they are remembered for creating classics(and they should be, of course) They all have a limited number of creations. Edgar Allen Poe, for example, was more a poet than a story-teller. He only wrote roughly 30 short stories. And of those 30, little more than half of them are actually authentic horror. He was equally interested in writing detective novels and pseudo-comedies. H.P. Lovecraft was also interested in writing science fiction. I tend to stick to writing solely about horror because it is the only genre that truly gets my attention and keeps it. I don't think I'm going to experiment with writing about any other genres.

Loneliness

I think that loneliness is something that every person feels every once in a while. Some more than others. When I see people who go out of their way to be different or to make some sort of statement, I just see them as being very lonely. In a way, loneliness is a sort of disease because the damage it can do is irreparable. I, myself have accepted the fact that, for the most part, I'm going to be alone in this life. The pain that I feel, the trauma that I have faced in my life, and every experience that has made me unique, I have been through alone. The real question is whether or not it is beneficial to be alone. I have seen several people who I considered a 'malnourished soul', and it is probably from loneliness that they become that way. As messed up as it is, the human race is supposedly meant for consistent contact. It is this need for constant contact where we get our preconceptions about love, something I don't know if I believe in by the way. It seems as though people lose their humanity when they break away from what they are generally wired to feel. I don't know. What I do know is that the blind definitely cannot lead the blind, and when you realize that the chances of people sincerely loving and accepting you are next to nil you can then accept a very callous yet easy to understand reality. As wired as people are supposed to be towards affection and compassion for their fellow human beings, they most definitely are not. It is because of this sad fact that most of them spend most of their lives feeling completely alone. Coming to grips with that can be difficult, but I'm pretty sure that I have. I was brought in to this world alone and I am going to leave it the same way.

Serious or not?

In my life, I have seen several people talk and act as though they were serious about accomplishing a goal, any goal. But, when it came right down to it, they nothing more than empty words. I personally believe that if your not willing to go to any lengths to succeed at what you set out to do in life than you have no business talking about it at all. Even to this day I still see people talk about this or that, and put plenty of wiry emotion into what they are saying, but the results they achieve are next to nothing. And these same people, who always make excuses about why they never get anything(and I mean anything!)done always have ample time it seems to waste abusing substances, watching extraordinary hours of television, chatting online or playing video games. Such people make me laugh.
If your truly serious about something, you will find the means to make what it is that you want happen. When it comes to writers, I have heard every excuse in the world. "I can't afford the publishing fees." "No one wants to read my work." "I don't have the time to fit everything into my schedule." and so on. Excuses don't get anyone anywhere. If you are truly serious, you will find a way. I, myself, am still having trouble marketing my work, but I still press on knowing that that I got myself this far, and I will get myself to the final destination, success!

A taste for wine

The only real indulgence I allow myself to have as far as substances are concerned is the occasional glass of wine. I don't smoke, drink liquor or beer, and I don't touch drugs. Red wines are my favorite, maybe because they are so similarly colored to blood! I especially like dessert wines like port but I also enjoy Cabernet Sauvignon, Pinot Noir, and Syrah. Wine is very good to get your creative energies flowing. While your drinking it, it enhances the atmosphere. Therefore, wine can be a very enjoyable experience. I have created several stories while under the influence of wine, and they always turn out rather brilliant. The taste of wine is definitely something to be savored, if you don't enjoy the taste of wine, any wine, you shouldn't drink it.
What I like most about wine is the fact that you can drink it for other reasons than to just get inebriated, which is different than liquor or beer. I feel that every writer should try wine if they ever come across a severe writer's block, you'd be surprised at the results!

Apathy ruling the world

I think the one thing universal about humanity is that nobody truly cares about anybody else, aside from themselves and even then It's rare to see someone that genuinely cares at all. Apathy truly rules the world. So, it amazes me to see some of the things that penetrate the minds and general consciousness of the masses. To say that such things are a general insult to any person that would declare themselves to be intelligent is beyond an understatement. I understand that things of a base nature appeal to most people because they have not taken any time to develop their minds to the point where such things could best be regarded as folly. So, when it all comes down to it, It does not surprise me at all that some of the best work, be it literature or otherwise, is overlooked. What I have been trying to figure out for many years is exactly what people regard as important enough to pay attention to. I, myself, believe that you are what you surround yourself with. And, with that in mind, it should come as no surprise to me when I see that people in general surround themselves with material that poses no benefit to them what so ever. It's like they prefer to be close minded and all-in-all incompetent. Perhaps this can explain why the literature community has so few successful writers. It can also explain why so many in the entertainment industry gain vast fortune. Yes, it's true. The fickleness of people is truly amazing! And also nauseating!
"Apathy it rules the world, And Hypocrisy it follows
Whose to say it goes away, Who cares about tomorrow?"

Obscurity is worse than Death

If you look at the vast of majority of people, what counts as their biggest fear is ironically something that is bound to happen to all of them one day: Death. Whether soon or late, it finds us all, there is no escape. To say such a thing does not bother me would be interpreted as rather boastful, but the truth is there are other things that bother me far more. To leave nothing in your life's wake and be totally forgotten without so much as a common mention would be a fate worse than anything death could give me. I feel that eternal obscurity is far worse than death. It is the same as never existing. To might as well never had taken one breath. I think if people truly look at the principle of obscurity, they will see it the same way I do. It is because of this fact that I look at the majority of the lives people live with disdain. A monotonous plunge into the depths of obscurity is all that I see. I don't care how anyone justifies such a existence. There is nothing worth living such a lie! I really don't know yet what the cure for the affliction of obscurity is, but I have promised myself that one day I shall. For right now, the only thing I could come close to saying is passion. Passion pushes you to follow your inner-most self. Even if that self is supposedly Evil, I would rather follow that than be part of what I call the 'Living Dead'!